While on a drunken retreat in Mexico, sipping on Coronas and munching on authentic tacos, my best friend Christina has this conversation with our other good friend Carlos. Note that Carlos is from Mexico and has a VERY thick Mexican accent, which I will try to depict in writing.

Blah blah blah blah….

Carlos: “Oh so, Krrrristina… chu rike beans? No?”

Christina: “Ummm that’s random, but yes Carlos, I like beans…”

Carlos: “Ah jes, beans is berrrry goot.”

Christina: “Ummmm, yeah Carlos, beans are very good…”

30 minutes of the most boring conversation takes place about “beans.”

Then finally:

Carlos: “Ah jes, I too rike Beans Golangco…”

Christina: “Oh my, you were talking about Vince, VINCE Golangco this whole time?!”

Carlos: “Jes, Beans Golangco…”

Christina: “ … ”

And that is how I got my street name…

They now know me in the hood as Beans.

Many tremble in fear upon hearing this name of death!

Rumor has it that if you say this name three times in front of a mirror, when you’re by yourself… you’ll suddenly black out and wake up with a hangover and no underwear… you’ve been warned….

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