Living in the Philippines has been like a box of chocolates… Now pardon the “Forest Gump” cliché, but you really never know what you’re gonna get out here. My days start off with a fun little game where I have to guess between electricity or water as the morning’s missing element. I either don’t have water to shower and brush my teeth, or I won’t have electricity to turn on anything that remotely reminds me of the 20th century. I’ve started to call this game “Fu*k Me!™”. I got that name from the first words that come out of my mouth when I’m reminded that I’m playing.
Now it isn’t all that bad, I get to do other things at home when these “daily natural occurrences” happen. For example, I still get to brush my teeth by using some chilled drinking water from the fridge; I’m resourceful like that (unless of course we run out of drinking water, then that’s a whole different game called “Fu*k Me in the Desert!™”.) On the other hand, when it’s electricity that’s missing, I simply scream my guts out into my pillow and then do my best to think happy thoughts ‘til I can again bask in the glory of television reruns.
My body has done a great job of adapting to this game as well. Yes, Darwin was right when he talked about evolution. For one thing, my body has evolved to help me deal with the heat. Days without electricity calls for drastic measures. No electricity means, not only no internet porn, but no air conditioning or fans as well. Thus the sophisticated temple (with massive guns) that I call “my body,” has since adapted to this dilemma. I now have sweat glands on my eyeballs, my toe nails and possibly even my asshole.
Ah, what a fun filled stay I’ve had so far. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow might bring!
Is that rust coming out of the faucet….?!?!?!
Ohhh fu*k me!™…