Motivated Monkey

“FUCK!!! Just turn off that damn TV!?” I screamed as I repeatedly banged my head against the window, hoping to knock myself unconscious.

GMA is slowly blinding Filipinos, and this time, I’m not talking about the president.

It’s actually the television station that’s slowly deteriorating our vision. Another crazy conspiracy you say? I beg to differ!

I used to have 20/20 vision, but now it seems more like a 20/20/20/20 vision with me seeing doubles all the time. Now let me warn you that you really have to experience what I’ll be talking about to understand me. Otherwise, you’ll just think that the solution is the easiest, silliest, stupidest and most “duh” thing to do. Really, it’s not that simple.

See my visionary impediment began not too long ago, when I decided to take a job at a small advertising agency situated on Emerald Avenue, off Ortigas Boulevard. Living in the Santa Mesa area, I quickly asked my sister what might be the best way to commute to work.

“Oh, take the bus. It’ll be cheap, it has air-con and TV!” she joyfully proclaimed.

Though I’m not much of a TV watcher, other than news and sports, I whole-heartedly rejoiced to the thought of having the good old television while stuck in the rush hour jams. This is one feeling I no longer carry.

Upon riding the bus, you’ll notice one thing, and one thing ONLY; the damn TV! Now, let’s not get started on how TV is polluting the minds of our youth and how it should be limited to the just the “good” channels namely: CNN, BBC, ESPN, Discovery, Animal Planet, National Geographic and the Playboy Channel… ok, ok we can forget the Animal Planet Channel since there are a lot of things on there for mature audiences… Anyway, as I was saying, when you take a ride in these buses, you can’t help but to stare at the TV.

The problem with this is that the damn TV is hooked up to, what I assume, is a crooked, stupid, pupil-degrading antenna! Add on a moving bus to this crooked, stupid, pupil-degrading antenna, and the result will be static like you’ve never seen before. I swear it feels like I’m either being brainwashed or taught to read the Matrix codes so I can help Neo save the world. It’s worse than riding a freakin’ roller coaster drunk while on shrooms!

Of course, you automatically think that the solution is simple. “Look away” you say. Well let me tell you Mr. or Ms. F-ing-Know-it-All, looking away is not really an option! See the bus is funneled where all you can really see is the front. It’s one long, vertical vehicle that has a straight aisle in the middle, directing your vision and attention to the front. Now you try looking out the window and you still see reflections of the staticky-jacked-up TV. Not to mentions, the only sounds you hear are from the damn TV, again drawing your attention to the moving pixels of absolute blur-shit in front of us all! Half the time, I don’t even notice that I’m watching the damn thing again, I just suddenly feel nauseous.

Now why is GMA at fault? Well I assume that they have some sort of contract with the G-Liner busses to turn the TV on to their channel every time. Well, it’s either that or ALL the bus drivers and conductors just love watching damn Slam Dunk cartoons in the morning and Freakin’ Family Feud at nights (among the other annoying programs)! I’m talking about every single bus that I’ve been on, at least twice a day, for the past three months have the TV tuned into the same channel every eye-degrading day!

Now here’s my request for the damn TV executives banking off the advertising money they get from boasting that “we have the fleet of buses that only shows our channel to potential consumers of blah blah blah bs bs bs bs…”

FIX THE DAMN TV! FIX THE DAMN CROOKED, STUPID, PUPIL-DEGRADING ANTENNA! I DON’T CARE IF YOU TRY TO MAKE MONEY OFF THIS BUT FIX IT SO WE DON’T GO BLIND IN THE DAMN PROCESS!

If you don’t, then just let the damn buses be quiet and allow me to rest in my own thoughts as my day begins or ends. You’re blinding people… slowly! If you disagree with me then please, take a ride on these buses for a month or so and let me know how you feel afterwards… I’m willing to bet you’d feel like puking worse than I did that one night when I had seven too many Jager Bombs…

Fuckers!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8w2YbaJJPU&hl=en&fs=1]