Heaven is Boring

Today, as I was hanging out with my friend Nikki at the park, we were approached by a few religious chaps hoping to “save” us. Though I don’t really like discussing religion with strangers, I’ve been on a good streak of saying yes to everything lately. So when they asked if we had a few minutes for a “short survey,” I said “YES!”  

First of all, let me make it clear that I respect everyone’s individual choices when it comes to religion and everything else. On the other hand, I’m also a rebel who questions EVERYTHING that is thrown my way. I’ve questioned why the sky is blue, why the earth is round, why water is wet, and why Joe Jonas ever broke up with Taylor Swift. Most of all, I’ve questioned where the dinosaurs were when Eve gave that apple to Adam. 

Needless to say, I’m not a big fan of organized religion for my own personal reasons. Then again, I’m not writing this to start a whole religious debate with anyone.

Instead, I just wanted to repeat the conversation I had with the church-choir-girl-scout-Ms-Universe-contestant this morning, since I thought it was pretty funny. 

Churchies: “Do you believe in heaven and hell?”

Vince: “No.”

Churchies: “So when you die… what do you think happens? You just…. ummmm…”

Vince: “I don’t think it matters what I think. If I die, I die. What I think happens after will not affect what will happen after. It’ll be really nice if there was something after death, but no one alive knows the answer to that.”

They then just talk to my friend Nikki for a while… before coming back to me. 

Churchies: “So if you were in front of God and he asks you why he should let you into heaven, what would you say?”

Vince:  “I wouldn’t have to say anything… if there were such a thing as a god and or heaven, he’d know what’s up. Besides, I don’t really like the concept of heaven and hell. There has to be bad for there to be good. And who are we to know or judge what “good” really is?

Also, I don’t even know if I want to go to heaven anyway, it’s probably boring there. None of the people I want to hang out with will be there…”

Churchies: “ … ”

Churchies: “Ummmm…. ok…. well… thanks for giving us your honest answers… it’s quite refreshing to hear something different…”

Vince: “How I roll…”

I actually wanted to discuss a bit more but then the people we were actually there to meet showed up, so we went our merry ways. 

See you all in hell!!! Well… at least you non-boring types…  



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