My Friends are Idiots… ( no offence guys =P )

My friends are cool guys, they drink like champions and you can count on them when you need ‘em. But honestly, they’re freakin’ idiots! Here’s the cycle I deal with when I’m with them. 

Friends: “Our life is so boring… nothing exciting ever happens to us… we never meet anyone new…”

The Vince: “HEY guys my cousin is inviting us out! We’re headed over to her friend’s house to play some Rockband and drink some beer. She said there’ll be like 10 girls there and no other guys! Let’s Go!”

Friends: “No, we’re going to a strip club tonight…”

The Vince: “ … ”

That was last week. Now here’s what happened last night. It was a Saturday and I’d been working all day. So I then decide it’s time to down some cold ones. I text my friends… 

The Vince: “Hey, what you guys doing tonight?”

Friends: “We’re going to a strip club. Wanna come?”

The Vince: “How did I not see that coming?” 

I swear, they’ll find any reason to go to a damn strip club! Like this other incident a couple of weeks ago…

The Vince: “So what we doing after dinner? Let’s go do something!”

Friends: “Well Jackie (one of the very few girls they know, who happens to be the fiancé of one of the guys) wants to go to a strip club…”

The Vince: “Are you serious?”

Friends: “Yeah dude, she said she’s never been to one…”

The Vince: “BULLSHIT! You’re just using that as an excuse!”

Friends: “No dude really… it’s for Jackie…”

The Vince: “BS! You’ll use anything as an excuse. In fact, that ashtray there probably wants to go to a strip club. Maybe next week you’ll say that chair over there has never been to a strip club, or maybe that shirt you’re wearing wants to go to a freakin’ strip club!”

Friends: “We’re doing this for Jackie…”

Then later on, Jackie backs out and decides to go home. Now it’s just us guys waiting and looking at each other… I know what’s coming and I’m just waiting for someone to say it… then finally…

Friends: “So… you guys still wanna go?”

The Vince: “MOTHERFUCKERS! I told you it had nothing to do with Jackie!”

I am now referring them to get some counseling and psychiatric help, or I just need to find them a good girlfriend… please help by sending me suggestions of single friends you may have… 

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