the itch

There I was at the peak of my career. I had just won two Oscars, seven Golden Globes, a Grammy, my third NBA Championship as well as my fourth Finals MVP, the Martin Luther King award for heroism, received my fifth Pulitzer Prize, my third Nobel Prize and was Playboy’s Playmate of the Year, again. But then I left it all behind, for what? Why? Well this is my story.

*Itch*

As a young man learning karate on filthy streets of La Jolla, I had to learn to survive on my own. It wasn’t easy growing up in that town. I remember a time when I had to eat my caviar without champagne… it was brutal! Somehow, I was able to make it through.

*Itch* *Itch*

I was only a child when I first had to fight off the dreaded paparazzi. It wasn’t easy being a child actor slash model slash football rising star. *Itch* *Itch* *Itch* Today, I look back and realize that my spirit, my very innermost being, who I am today is because of those dreaded days when I had to walk down that catwalk with shoes half a size too big. *Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch* And those nights I had to stay up all night because I had a rock concert where I needed to fill I for the sick guitarist or…. *Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch**Itch*

WHAT THE F*** IS THAT ITCHING!!!!

Oh, it was just a dream…. Damn mosquitoes!!! Where the hell am I? I got mosquito bites everywhere!!! Oh yeah, I’m in the Philippines.

In San Diego, the only things I couldn’t keep off me were girls…. Or was that a dream too….? DAMNIT!

 

Share
4 Responses to “the itch”
  1. Alexander 30 July 2008 at 12:28 am #

    Dude, I almost wet myself laughing at your post today. Nice one! Oh and how is that job at Jollibee going?

  2. jragland 30 July 2008 at 2:08 am #

    All i know is that you keep referencing itching in your posts… did you make sure to get your post-SDSU check up? See if you were lucky enough to finish it off with out a visit to the doctor for some penicillin?

    on the serious level though – i understand the pain of giant mosquito’s, makes me cherish the invention of air conditioning, even if it does sound like a little bitch!

  3. Pappa Green 30 July 2008 at 1:58 pm #

    Everyone always stares at me in the office as I try to keep from laughing out loud. Keep practicing “blue steele” and one day you will make it back to the the top of the cat walk HAHA

  4. Vince 30 July 2008 at 4:30 pm #

    Man, I’m itching ALL OVER!!! From head to toe!!! At times i kinda wish all I had was an STD so I could just worry about one general area…. I have to scratch my calves, my arms, my ass, my stomach, my upper legs, my feet and then it gets tricky with my back…. damn mosquitoes!!!!

    Oh and the Jolibee job is going ok… They’re promoting me to fries soon…

    And yes, back to the catwalk with the right size shoes is where I hope to be one day….

Leave a Reply to Alexander

Click here to cancel reply.

<ul><li><strong>woothemes_settings</strong> - a:0:{}</li><li><strong>woo_about</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_aboutlink</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_about_bio</strong> - Just Monkeying Around</li><li><strong>woo_about_gravatar</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_about_readmore</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_ads</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_ads_rotate</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_ad_block_adsense</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_ad_block_image</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com/ads/woothemes-300x250-1.gif</li><li><strong>woo_ad_block_url</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com</li><li><strong>woo_ad_content_adsense</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_ad_content_disable</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_ad_content_image</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com/ads/woothemes-468x60-2.gif</li><li><strong>woo_ad_content_url</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com</li><li><strong>woo_ad_header_adsense</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_ad_header_image</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com/ads/woothemes-468x60-2.gif</li><li><strong>woo_ad_header_url</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_1</strong> - http://www.vincegolangco.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/WhenInManila.com_logo_When_In_Manila.jpg</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_2</strong> - http://www.vincegolangco.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/FlairCandy-ad-spot.jpg</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_3</strong> - http://www.vincegolangco.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/your_ad_here_125x125.jpg</li><li><strong>woo_ad_image_4</strong> - http://www.vincegolangco.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/YourAdHere1.png</li><li><strong>woo_ad_page</strong> - Select a page:</li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_1</strong> - http://www.wheninmanila.com</li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_2</strong> - http://tektok.podomatic.com/</li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_3</strong> - http://www.vincegolangco.com/contact/</li><li><strong>woo_ad_url_4</strong> - http://www.vincegolangco.com/contact/</li><li><strong>woo_alt_colours</strong> - blue.css</li><li><strong>woo_alt_stylesheet</strong> - default.css</li><li><strong>woo_archives</strong> - Select a page:</li><li><strong>woo_asides_category</strong> - Featured</li><li><strong>woo_asides_entries</strong> - 3</li><li><strong>woo_auto_img</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_blog_subnavigation</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_10</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_14</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_17</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_18</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_243</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_3</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_4</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_45</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_572</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_7</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_8</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_cat_nav_814</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_content_archives</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_custom_css</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_custom_favicon</strong> - http://www.motivatedmonkey.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/3-favicon.ico</li><li><strong>woo_delicious</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_digg</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_exclude_pages_footer</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_exclude_pages_main</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_facebook</strong> - http://Facebook.com/WhenInManila</li><li><strong>woo_featured_category</strong> - Select a category:</li><li><strong>woo_featured_layout</strong> - large_no_ad.php</li><li><strong>woo_feat_alt_height</strong> - 100</li><li><strong>woo_feat_alt_width</strong> - 150</li><li><strong>woo_feedburner_id</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_feedburner_url</strong> - http://feeds.feedburner.com/MotivatedMonkey</li><li><strong>woo_flickr</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_flickr_entries</strong> - Select a number:</li><li><strong>woo_flickr_id</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_flickr_url</strong> - Flickr URL</li><li><strong>woo_google_analytics</strong> - <script type=\"text/javascript\">
var gaJsHost = ((\"https:\" == document.location.protocol) ? \"https://ssl.\" : \"http://www.\");
document.write(unescape(\"%3Cscript src=\'\" + gaJsHost + \"google-analytics.com/ga.js\' type=\'text/javascript\'%3E%3C/script%3E\"));
</script>
<script type=\"text/javascript\">
try {
var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker(\"UA-9307056-1\");
pageTracker._trackPageview();
} catch(err) {}</script></li><li><strong>woo_gravatar</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_header_layout</strong> - ad468x60.php</li><li><strong>woo_image_height</strong> - 225</li><li><strong>woo_image_single</strong> - false</li><li><strong>woo_image_width</strong> - 400</li><li><strong>woo_lastfm</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_layout</strong> - header-alt.php</li><li><strong>woo_linkedin</strong> - http://Linkedin.com/VinceGolangco</li><li><strong>woo_logo</strong> - http://www.motivatedmonkey.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/4-Motivated_Monkey_transparrent.png</li><li><strong>woo_manual</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com/support/theme-documentation/bloggingstream/</li><li><strong>woo_other_entries</strong> - 6</li><li><strong>woo_related</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_resize</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_shortname</strong> - woo</li><li><strong>woo_show_video</strong> - true</li><li><strong>woo_side_image</strong> - /styles/clean-light/images/ad-120x240.jpg</li><li><strong>woo_side_url</strong> - http://www.woothemes.com</li><li><strong>woo_single_height</strong> - 120</li><li><strong>woo_single_width</strong> - 180</li><li><strong>woo_stumble</strong> - </li><li><strong>woo_themename</strong> - Bloggingstream</li><li><strong>woo_thumb_height</strong> - 88</li><li><strong>woo_thumb_width</strong> - 88</li><li><strong>woo_twitter</strong> - VinceGolangco</li><li><strong>woo_uploads</strong> - a:2:{i:0;s:89:"http://www.motivatedmonkey.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/4-Motivated_Monkey_transparrent.png";i:1;s:67:"http://www.motivatedmonkey.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/3-favicon.ico";}</li><li><strong>woo_video_category</strong> - Select a category:</li><li><strong>woo_youtube</strong> - http://YouTube.com/WhenInManila1</li></ul>