the meaning of life…

In our lifetime, the normal human being tends to accumulate more questions than answers. Some answers are simply not comprehensible to our feeble minds (Why are we here? Were my ancestors really monkeys? How the hell did she do that with her tongue?); while other questions we simply choose not to find the answers (Why does it burn when I pee? Am I a loser? Are those just allergies down there? No really, why does it burn like that?).

In the midst of all the chaos, one uncertainty stands out from the rest – “the meaning of life?”

Throughout the spiritual journeys I have engaged in, from holistic yoga classes at my gym to soul searching 3am munchie runs at 7-11, I have slowly come to an understanding of this universal query, and it’s really not that complicated.

You’re here to “BE.” That’s it. No confusing algorithm, destiny, purpose or anything confusing like that. Just be. Be what? I don’t know, but be something! I think the trick is to stop worrying, but Mary Schmich says it best in her column (people think that Baz Luhrman wrote this):

“Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.”

So instead, live life as if you have nothing holding you back. Ask yourself, “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?”

It has been proven time and again by big Hollywood movies (the most reliable sources of course) that the villains with absolutely nothing to lose are the deadliest of them all. This is because with nothing holding them back, it is nearly impossible to hinder their drive and hunger.

Thus, by going on in life without fear, you are able to unleash your inner self; just don’t fall into the dark side like that dude in Star Wars. It is then that you become one with the universe and maybe even find out the name to that girl who could do that thing with her tongue (how the hell did she do that anyway?!)…

From the movie “Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life”

Lady Presenter: Well, that’s the end of the film. Now, here’s the meaning of life.
[She is handed a gold-wrapped booklet.]
Lady Presenter: Thank you, Brigitte.
[She clears her throat, then unwraps and examines the gilt booklet.]
Lady Presenter: Well, it’s nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their fucking arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment, bollocks! What they want is filth! People doing things to each other with chainsaws during Tupperware parties. Babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates. Vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats… Where’s the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here’s the theme music. Goodnight.


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